retiring from my old ways
"or perhaps i'm retiring from the way things used to be" -mac demarco
those who know me and my wardrobe know i have an unhealthy attachment to my navy Adidas track pants (thrift store find from 3 years ago) and my Vivienne Westwood doll flats (ebay find from 3 years ago). i wear these pieces religiously but as Hozier said: all things end.
the elastic waistband on the track pants, perhaps as a result of my recent weight loss or maybe just years of hardcore wear, has been stretched to hell. i cannot walk while wearing these pants without them slipping so low that you can see my underwear and low back dimples. while sexy in a 2000s way, it isn’t practical, and it isn’t the reason behind why i wore these pants so much to begin with. they will no longer be worn outside of the home. their substitute? my peachy den mimi pants :)
now for the worst part, my most worn pair of shoes for the past three years— the Vivienne Westwood doll flats. these precious baby pink beauties have been to hell and back and visibly so— black skid marks from scraping the streets, tearing in the PVC material on top, etc. while i always knew i’d wear these shoes until they fell off my feet, i thought it would be a metaphorical, simultaneous thing. instead, i’m in the midst of a Cinderella moment: one shoe is missing and nowhere to be found. i am saddened but not heartbroken. i loved those shoes. they were my own personal calling card for many years. i’m unlikely to replace them for a while, so i’ll just have to get creative with my other shoe options this spring.
a moment of silence. please…
moving out of my wardrobe, we’re talking sobriety. after waking up on the kitchen floor of my apartment and suffering a near 48-hour hangover with copious amounts of tears and anxiety, i, of Lillian Westwood, have decided to give up alcohol moving forward. already, i sense this is going to be difficult given the industry i work in and how young i am, but you know who else is sober in her late 20s while in an arguably more tempting industry? Bella Hadid!! we’re practically twins?? i’d like to share this quote from her regarding her sobriety, something that i resonated with:
“I don’t feel the need [to drink] because I know how it will affect me at 3 in the morning when I wake up with horrible anxiety thinking about that one thing I said five years ago when I graduated high school. There’s just this never-ending effect of, essentially, you know, pain and stress over those few drinks that didn’t really do much, you know?”
i don’t have much else to say about not drinking, but i will continue to party and go out. i’ll just be home before midnight and less scared.
lastly, and maybe most importantly, on my mission to lose weight before my birthday, i’ve heavily cut back on my excessive soda consumption— liquid sugars in general. i’m talking a dr pepper a day excessive. not much time has passed since i set this intention, yet the results are impressive. i’ve lost nearly 10 lbs (with some diet regulating and a gym routine), and when i do have a soda, i find them too sweet to finish in one sitting.
